Hello wives connect, I am a beautiful African lady that enjoys reading the blog. Though I am not Nigerian, I love Nigerian food and some aspects of the culture too. Please permit me seek advise on there. I am 42 and my partner is 27 we have been together since he was 20. This has never happened to me before and I would think twice if this were to happen again. We live together and have done so for about 3 years . We have had to go through a lot of judgment from various family members over the years and are still not in a good place. My partner’s parents know about me and his Mum is fine but his Dad never has been which is fine. They are the only family members who even know I exist, as he has kept me a secret for so long. I am a naturally bubbly adventurous person who wants to live life to the full travelling and experiencing new adventures. All out holidays weekends away, trips out in the evening have 99% been planned by me.
I have got to a stage where I find it extremely difficult to accept being his secret any longer. Although he lives
with me he does not have any bills or bank or anything actually at this address and apart from a few clothes his room at his Mum’s house has stayed the same as always. He lacks motivation in all areas of life and is happy to watch football TV and sit on Online forums most of the time. He doesn’t show much interest in the world outside of that. I am now at a point of maybe letting it go so that both he and myself can start living again, but he doesn’t want to go away. He tries to smooth things out all the time by trying to do the right thing for me and cannot see the problems runs deeper than maybe a quick fix with a trip to the cinema etc.
I understand not everyone is going to agree with the relationship and if you don’t then that’s fine I won’t expect a response, but if anyone can give some sound solid advice on what you think then I would appreciate it greatly. For the record I am a very young at heart 42 year old and have been told I look like 30 so before you all go “ugh that’s disgusting” please, just see that this is about two people that naturally fell in love and age didn’t really come into it . Thanks
I have got to a stage where I find it extremely difficult to accept being his secret any longer. Although he lives
with me he does not have any bills or bank or anything actually at this address and apart from a few clothes his room at his Mum’s house has stayed the same as always. He lacks motivation in all areas of life and is happy to watch football TV and sit on Online forums most of the time. He doesn’t show much interest in the world outside of that. I am now at a point of maybe letting it go so that both he and myself can start living again, but he doesn’t want to go away. He tries to smooth things out all the time by trying to do the right thing for me and cannot see the problems runs deeper than maybe a quick fix with a trip to the cinema etc.
I understand not everyone is going to agree with the relationship and if you don’t then that’s fine I won’t expect a response, but if anyone can give some sound solid advice on what you think then I would appreciate it greatly. For the record I am a very young at heart 42 year old and have been told I look like 30 so before you all go “ugh that’s disgusting” please, just see that this is about two people that naturally fell in love and age didn’t really come into it . Thanks
Oya, clap for yourself.
That one is a boy. Get yourself a MAN!
Age is but a figure so, I don't think anyone would blame you besides, we have men dating girls that are far younger than they are so, I see no problem with that aspect.
However, I think you are stuck in this position because he is still quite young. You see, women grow up faster than men, it's a fact, so if you see a man that's 20 and a lady that's 20, there's every probability that the girl acts and thinks more maturely than the guy.
Sometimes it has a lot to do with upbringing as ladies tend to take charge of domestic affairs and stuff hence making them grow 'mentally' older faster and act more maturely too.
I will blame your partner's behaviour on his upbringing, and then again, on you. In a relationship, there are mostly two people involved and between this two people, one must be the driver while the other, the passenger. In other words, there can be no two captains in a ship.
How long have you been steering the ship? You speak of motivation which means you doing the provision. You say that he watches football and quickly thinks he can fix things by a trip to see a movie. Doesn't that tell you something? Doesn't it tell you that you are the man in this relationship? Do you know what I think? I think you should let him be the man. Let him take care of major of the expenses and you'd see that he'll pick up. Let him do the things you used to take care of. Stop being the man and learn to be the woman who lets the man take care of her. Exchange roles and see the improvement.
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Darling,
That boy has been feeding off you! He doesn't have to pay bills, be a man and yet he gets a pretty lady as companion though he doesn't want his friends to know.
Oya pack his bags and THROW HIM OUT
First of all poster I find ur topic defensive and rude! But I understand it's Bcos of people's insults on posters! Adaeze said it all! Once u follow adaeze's advice ur bae's true colour will come out! Ur bae will either repent 4 d better or his attitude may cos an end to ur love life! All d best
Lol! You're post is totally right! Very funny, but spot on!
lol, this reminds me of a korean drama, he was ike 25 and she was 40? but he wasn't an immature person like in this post though. i agree with everyone, there are mature 27 year olds, but i think you got a man child here.