- He rejects your cooked meals, even when the hunger is squeezing and churning his stomach. Why? To make you say “sorry|” sometimes over nothing and sometimes over no wrong of yours.
- He withholds praise and withholds acknowledgement when you do well.
- Wears a long face and avoids eye contact.
- Keeps late nights to make you jealous even if it means hiding somewhere close to the house or just parking and sitting lonely in the car till late night.
- He falls pretend sick and tries to look really miserable such that you can’t help but show care.
- Blames you for the affair he’s having. Makes you feel it’s your fault that he is cheating. Makes you feel that you aren’t doing enough to keep him home. Praises a friend’s or other relative’s wife in your presence during a conversation, extolling some qualities as if he wishes you are like that wife…
- Tells you that you are making a mountain out of a molehill. Blames you for making things bloated and bigger than they are.
- Uses your weakness against you to gain advantage.
- Tries to wound your ego or embarrass you just to shut you down.
- When he embarrasses you before others, he either acts as though he doesn’t know what he just did or acts like he just don’t care.
- He uses humiliation tactics to gradually and slowly but surely erode your self esteem and make himself feel better about himself… You know what? It works!
- He does not take responsibility for his bad actions whether or not he puts the blame on you the wife.
- He uses phrases like “You of all people?” to make you… you know na…
- He beats you up very well, assaults emotionally and physically and then turns around to say “I’ll die if you leave me” ehn?
- He acts hurt or upset when you make a point and then gets you to make a U-turn just so he can be happy with you.
- Makes you feel like you are not trying enough that’s why things are still this way. You are not trying enough that’s why you don’t have a job yet. You are not trying enough, that’s why, that’s why, That’s why…
- When there is a misunderstanding, he manipulates you and makes himself become the victim, the injured one, and then makes you feel sorry for him and you sympathize with him, then and then, you end up apologizing to him.
- When talking to you in the presence of other people, he uses insulting undertones beneath humour.
- He never says sorry, manipulates you to think he is sorry but will never say “Honey I’m sorry”
- He pushes you hard with his words, makes you strive too hard and then when you have done your part and the ‘file’ moves to his table, he is suddenly relaxed and even forgets about the matter that seemed so serious when it was your turn for action.
If you are in a relationship with a husband or wife who uses Emotional blackmail on you, you need to protect your Emotional safety yourself o. When you are sure that you are not wrong, instead of apologizing, sit down and talk about it in a nice way and be cautious not to say that ‘sorry’ rather explain why you feel you are not wrong this time and do not be led into raising your voice and spoiling matter for yourself.
Consciously build up your self esteem and self respect, guard it.
Be wise, know when the manipulation is coming and what to do without causing wahala.
Good night!