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Nigerian wives have so many things in common, Ok, before anyone complains, I am also a Nigerian wife:)
- They lack confidence in themselves and this leaves them fearful and insecure. They love to sneak in on their husbands. They see nothing wrong with checking on their husbands phone daily. They find it hard to relax and trust their husbands.
- They create fake Facebook accounts to monitor their husbands and to reply to chats from female friends. When they find out husbands are cheating, they do nothing.
- They monitor their spouses BBM every day of the week. They sometimes spend sleepless nights doing that.
- They listen through bathroom doors and even creep outside bedrooms at night to listen to spouses’ Telephone conversations.
- They check contacts and ask questions about every female name on the phone.
- They reply to text messages meant for their husbands. These replies are sent only when the message is from a woman.
- They visit husbands’ offices unannounced to see what goes on behind their backs.
- They are suspicious of every secretary in Oga’s office.
- They are scared dead of husbands’ ex girlfriends.
- They go through husbands’ files and briefcases to look for evidence, after finding what they look for, they only cry and ask why, with no further action.
- They pretend not to know when husbands are actually cheating.
- They are comfortable with husbands’ late nights so long as he doesn’t bring any woman home.
- They see marriage as a do or die affair, they remain married even when all they get is pain and tears.
- They rather stay married and continue to cheat cheat than end a lifeless marriage.
- They cope well in sexless marriages, and are ready to stay for as long as the man can keep them.
#I don talk my own finish. Eya, post this I beg you.
hehehehe Naija women palaver.
But I don't quite agree with some points here like 1 and 11. why monitor his moves when u can't approach him when u get d needed evidence. Ironically naija women do confront their husbands even without enough evidence to buttress their claim.
~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310
I was going to ignore this but as a 'Nigerian wife' I had to reply because I dont want any of my unmarried sisters to be under the illusion that all that has been written here describes the typical Nigerian wife.
Please my sisters, not at all:
1. Re Confidence: I dont lack confidence at all my dear sister. My confidence comes from excelling at school and choosing a husband that will complement me and not take away from me. My advice to young girls is – dont expect your self esteem to come from marriage. Again, dont allow marriage to erode your self confidence.
2. I have NEVER checked my hubby's phone. The day I do that is the day I have become jobless
3. I have NEVER sneaked in on my husband. If you are doing that as a wife, you should think of joining the police as you would make a good detective. Otherwise, you need to find a hobby
3. Re Facebook: I am not even on Facebook. I am too lazy to bother. My husband has one and I have his password because my friends contact me through his account ….and I reply them through his account.
4. RE BBM, Emails etc…we share each others passwords because there have been occasions when we have had to check an email urgently and pass the message onto the other (i.e. when one of us has been on a business trip/ travelling with no/limited access to emails/ phones)
5. 'Listening through doors', 'creeping', 'checking contacts', 'replying texts' etc….All I can say is that wives who have to do these are either jobless or sad. 24 hours is not even enough for me to meet all my commitments, talk less of checking up on a grown man
6. ' scared dead of husbands' ex girlfriends'….all I have to say is the wife must know she was a compromise because it should be the other way round ….the ex should be scared of the wife! Haba!
7. '….after finding what they look for, they only cry and ask why..' I have no words but to say that wives who do this must either be totally dependent on the husband; come from families that failed to boost their self esteem or have given up on life. Too sad for words 🙁
8. ' comfortable with husbands' late nights…..so sad again. This is not the norm. respect is mutual and women should not forget this.
9. 'marriage as a do or die affair'….not at all. Please do not generalise. This is misleading young ladies and making them think marriage is a jail sentence.
10. 'Sexless marriage'; 'Lifeless marriage' 'Cheating'….please see my response above
Overall, I had to reply because I really do not want single women to think they have to take rubbish when they get married. Marriage is not for everyone but some people force their way into this institution by ignoring all the warning signs (when they are courting)
Ladies, please do not be fooled, any man who wants a doormat should marry a broom.
Dont short-change yourselves, if you elevate yourselves, you will be elevated even more. If you make yourself unworthy of respect, even dogs will pee on you!
Please dont compromise, God did not create females to be abused or trod on. Please do not settle for less than what you deserve. What are we teaching our daughters???
xxxx
Best comment for now goes to Naija Mum In London. Thumbs Up!!!
I agree with you 100%. I will never check on my husban's phone cos I do not want to develop one disease that the Doctors will say they can't diagnose and next story is she is dead. My rule says, if you want to live long, LEAVE YOUR HUSBAND'S PHONE ALOOOONE.
@Monique, you forget to add that we bring all our extended family members/siblings to live with us in our husbands' house to help enjoy/spend his money. #Truth
Haahahahaha! I love this. We are so suspicious that we can't even find time to enjoy our marriages.
Another Characteristics: You ladies dump your old friends after marriage only to come looking for them when he starts disappointing you.
NA BIG LIE BE THIS POST. NA BIG WASH
Maybe monique marriage is exactly what she describe above.
Maybe monique marriage is exactly what she describe above.
I still don't understand y ladies do this. I need my girlfriends around me when I need 2 spend some hours away from hubby n kids.
I can see you guys are living in denial, just the way you refuse to flog kids with cane and when they start giving you trouble you pretend all iz well.
And most Nigerian wives sew every aso ebi in town at the expense of peace at home.
A Nigerian wife I know has this habit of leaving the house every Saturday for a committee of friends meeting where they sing, dance, gossip and backbite each other.
While she is there doing all the vanity show, her kids and husband are left in the care of her house help.#MyWife
It's a free world babe, continue to wallow in denial.
@ken maybe you can talk to your wife and tell her how you feel about her Saturday meetings,marriage is about compromise.
Thank you, waiting for Characteristics Of Nigerian Husbands.
That aside, Eya, thank you so much for the awesome akara balls I made yesterday without removing beans skin. There was no difference and ma famly enjoyed it. Thanks for teaching me how to make ma fav akara balls with ease. Hubby sends his appreciation too :-))
This is a lie from the pit of hell.
God bless U Naija mum.
Ladies, believe what U want to see happen in marriage and work towards it.
Who do u refer to as old friends?singles?no way..i dnt dump them and i dnt gv them gv dem attention lyk bfr..dey cn b deceitful u knw…am alwayz a careful girl na eke nkwucha
All I can say is that whoever posted this is either describing herself or an illusion of what she thinks others do. 98% of what is written here does not apply to me or my married friends to the best of my knowledge…
Hian oga ken hope ur not doing ur house help"pulling ear"am suspecting u
Hi Monique, good afternoon,
Thanks for writing.
I will post it like you requested but, don't forget I'm a Nigerian wife too o, and I can't see myself in those characteristics. You made me laugh while reading them sha.
I post before the end of the week cos, I'll like to read what other Nigerian wives have to say.
Have a wonderful day.
Eya
Ok naa, y'all running away, why do you keep checking on ur husband's fones.
Some things Monique said may not be true but I guess some are true stereotypes. Flog me if you can!!!
I don't see myself in any of the listed characteristics at all. It was funny sha, especially the one about listening through doors and creeping around…. I mean….who does that?
Well said Naija mum. Moreover even if the above in Monique's post were true, it does not apply to NIGERIAN wives only. She shud just say sad and insecure wives in general cos I did not see anything peculiarly Nigerian there…
This is so untrue. Anyone who has this perception is in an unhealthy relationship and needs help ASAP
I am so sorry for those who think this is more than a joke, #forreal?
Thank you NIL for that detailed rebuttal to such people.
Thank you o! Abeg Monique,if u or anybody acts this way;then pls seek help! Don't deceive yourself that every wife is like this o. Hian! Where will I even find the time to do all this?!
I dont even know what to say…
This cannot be generalized my dear, so pls single ladies mind her not.
Marriage aint a death sentence, it's meant to be enjoyed.
This post is so untrue cos i do not do any of these, guess she just wanted to find out if other women do this so as to say "am not the only one in it". Thanks jare NIL!
So so untrue. Not a single one applies to me. Where did u get all that from? SMH
I check phones, and so????
A nip in the bud saves nine.
#enoughsaid
I have been a silent reader,but Aunty Eya,dis post got my hands on the comment button!its so funny but true.
I have a sweet hubby(God bless him),and I can say confidently dat he doesn't cheat despite the nature of his job dat exposes him to 'hot ladies'.(I hot too o lolz!),he has always being a one man woman from our dating days.
But I find myself doing some of dese(like checking BB messages and texts only o,cos d Facebook hacking' is actually going too far),nyway I do dat cos men are funny creatures like lil babies that change everyday,so they need to be checked.with the level of exposure due to social media and western lifestyles,dress sense dat has crept into our society,a man can easily be distracted so I think wives should do some of these checking up on IMO.
And about knowing ur hubby is cheating and not doing anything,I think dats not true!most women will find a way of getting the message across either by using elders of the church etc….only if na roadside marriage dat u don't have a right.
In all I think most women are guilty of some of these even dou they won't own up!!
This woman just described her marriage! Madam u need help from NaijaMum in L! Geez! When I'm not dating a looser, how will I av all these symptoms? Plus dot u av kids that should keep u occupied and happy? Woman, sorry to say but some of us have been blessed wt good men who obey the sanctity of marriage (Glory to God) I suggest u start prayin 4 ur husband to change coz 4 me, I did not marry a weiste!
Stay tuned to this blog for "Tips on How To Heal Your Marriage"
****Mufasa Said
Accept it, this post is a personal one. You probably just described urself if not why do u think we r living in denial?
****Mufasa Said
Really? lol
This is not a case of joblessness, but mental instability. Any woman who lives like this is digging her own grave. Making your life revolve round your husband just shows u didn't have a vision and plan for yourself. Probably the marriage was supposed to be your greatest achievement. Get a life.
I agree Mustafa. One thing about people in relationships(both +ve and -ve) is that they end up attracting/making friends with people who go through same situation as them and those friends also have friends whose marriages are like theirs and when the chain grows, they come to a point of believing that every marriage is like theirs.
That your marriage and that of your 15 friends and 25 acquaintances are as described doesn't make every other person so. There are exceptions. So many and I mean so many women here are blessed with godly/responsible men and those wives too know their place and respectfully take it.
Some couples check their spouses phone, I don't because what am I looking for when I sincerely trust my DH? I use his phone to work online when my sub runs out or network issue but its so funny how I never get carried away to start reading and checking him up. He hasn't given me a reason to doubt him and I shouldn't create one myself.
If U suspect anything and checks him out why not lay it out in all submission like a godly wife,except you ain't one. Truth is most men are good but some women are just over-bearing, seeking equality where there is none and when they end up creating problems they can't handle they begin to see marriage as hell which it is not. Recently met a couple who's been married for 36 solid years and the love between them challenged myself and DH,they weren't pretending it they are happy. U can see that they are and such foundations I have started building for myself even before marriage.
I religiously went thru this article and I must confess that none applies to me or lots of married friends of mine and I do not expect it even in the farthest future. But if this describes you, I advice you thoroughly change your perspective and attitude towards your marriage/husband.
Lots of love
Most of d married here will say dats not me. Like Monique earlier said kip living in self denial good tin is she's stated it n its very true.
Mufasa dis one ur attacking her like dis r u sure she didn't expose u.
As U make ur bed U lie on it.
Many women hv driven their husbands out of d house with ds kind of unpaid SSS jobs.
Did U marry him xpecting him to cheat on U, then y?
U kp suspecting ur hubby of cheating, are U cheating?
If U entertain fears y not tuk to him about it.
Living ur life ds way is clear cut pix of joblessness.
Happy marriages do xist, desire and work towards those happy ones.
If U go on to marry sm1 U cant trust for the rest of ur life, y choose such misery.
Yes trust is earned overtime, but it is also built on sm degree of trust.
Quit giving urself unnecessary hypertension and enjoy ur marriage.
For the lady who checks fones to save 9 or time, font forget that their are maaaaaaaany other forms of communication, and if the msgs are coded with coded identity, U may hv only succeded in wasting 20mins of ur precious time.
If u lyk make una speak all d grammar wey dey una book 80per of women nt just naija babes are guilty of some if not all of dis, whether we try to shy away frm it or not. HYPOCRITES.
These are not characteristics of naija wives, most of these sound insane…snooping around all day long means you are jobless and have probably gone and lost your mind too, however, checking phones….hmmm. That's same as reading diaries..it is much fun especially if you know you can get away with it.
It has nothing to do with naija wives, if you leave your phone around any curious person will and can pick it up…something doesn't read right, you get tempted to keep reading.
Am I jobless? Absolutely not
Am I insane? Hell NO
Just a very curious person.
Being a wife…funny texts don't get just the laughs and back talking, it gets my full attention…
Does it mean I have no confidence…
Confidence is my name, i will however not on the bed of Confidence ignore the curiosity in me:)
@Monique: that some people do not agree with ur post doesn't mean they are in denial. Be mature and accept that some people still have marriages that are devoid of insecurities. Looks like that post describes you and those you surround yourself with. Also your post is an indivual thing not a Nija wife thing, its immature and shallow minded to generalise
Its sad that all you say about Nija wives are negative. Are you that sad that you don't see anything positive. Sorry for u o
Is it not also possible that that's her me time after 6 days of taking care of everyone else #justasking# Not that I'm justifying all the gossip and all thatgoes on there.
Still in denial too???
Lmao.
I read this and laughed cause I really didn't think it was meant to be taken seriously., thought it was just a 'ha-ha' post. But now that I see stuff about people living in denial, etc I guess its serious.
Well, you can't speak for other people's marriages, I can tell you that I've never done any of this simply cause I don't need to.
And even if people are living in denial, biko let them live in denial. You can't force people to agree with you. 🙂
well,these traits do not belong to the women who married their husbands but for those who were hapless to have married someone else', this rules may be part of their daily routine!