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Below are things you should never say to people trying to conceive (TTC)
People sometimes don’t know what to say to those going through this phase, and when they finally say something, you just wish they hadn’t. In the journey of waiting on The Almighty, the giver of children, women have heard crazy, heart rending things being said to them. Surprisingly, these statements come from people very close who know their struggle.
1. You are still young, why are you worrying yourself? Yes na, we all know she is still young and she knows also that, if she is not too young yo get married, then she is not too young for anything.
2. You are too fat, maybe you need to lose weight: Haven’t we seen lots of big
curvy women getting pregnant? She is an adult, no one needs to tell her that she is overweight or underweight. Just try your best to keep your thoughts to yourself so you don’t add salt and pepper to her pain. Let her manage herself. Moreover, her husband loves her just that way.
3. You are working too hard and need to relax a bit so that this can happen: Do you know that that work, that business might be what is taking her mind off it? If she is working too much, her Doctor will tell when she needs rest. If she stops working and becomes idle and depressed, will that help in anyway?
4. It will happen when it’s meant to be; Yes sha, that’s true and do you know that even though what you just said is the truth, she doesn’t want to hear those words right now.
5: This Year is your Year oh, it will happen this month: If almost everyone she knows keeps saying that, not a bad phrase, it’s good to confess faith but what if privately, in your bedroom, you kneel down, shut the door and tell God that you want this miracle to happen this year instead of saying it to her like a Mountain mover.
If by next year she is still expecting, how do you want her to feel? Saying those words to her just kind of make it too obvious. Please say them on her behalf to the giver of children himself.
6; You are still like this, nothing yet? Hmmm, even if people have been married for twenty years and still expecting, please don’t use that phrase however close you may be. Don’t make it seem so obvious, she knows and wets her pillow every night crying before God while you sleep in peace.
Pretend you are not worried. If you two are that close and she starts the conversation, fine, encourage, hold hands and pray together, suggest good fertility hospitals if you know any. Chose your prayer words carefully though, don’t pray like you feel bad for her or like she is not there with you. She will feel much better afterwards.
7: Imagine life, I never had problems getting pregnant, we were not even ready when I discovered I missed my period. What? Who cares if you didn’t have challenges conceiving. Anyway, thanks for sharing at the wrong place and time. Now what are you doing to her?
Sharing your testimony, telling her God is good to you alone? Never tell a woman having difficulty getting pregnant that it was quite easy for you. She doesn’t need that yet. We have our separate journeys in life.
8. Are You Sure you are not pregnant already? Even if she was, maybe she still wants it private for now. When women TTC begin to gain weight, that’s when people say those things to them.
It’s better you keep quiet about her looking pregnant, if she announces pregnancy, good, then, she chose you. Asking these questions can make any woman feel embarrassed not to talk of one having challenges.
9. You can’t force these things. Have Faith in God, tell yourself that “I am a mother of Nations” She heard that in church already and has listened to Faith tapes and read books on Faith like no man’s business, even “Supernatural Childbirth” is in her Study.
10. You are too stressed, just stop thinking about it and allow God to God take control.
Please remember that these are things never to say to anyone trying to conceive (TTC)
Another thing, questions like: what are you waiting for? are wrong too.
Honestly, no one should ever inquire about the reproductive issues of another human being even if they are or aren't trying to conceive… we Nigerians are too nosey for our own good, there's something called personal space and privacy, that's how you'll hear some random aunty that you just met two minutes ago feel free to start talking about why you aren't having children yet… ahn ahn! have some decorum!
If only people would think like this