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Sex Education Book for daughters |
Hi Eya,
I just discovered your bog and I am really impressed at what you are doing. It was almost impossible for me to get a simplified recipe for afang soup the way you did it on your blog. Thank you for helping us out, I know how confused I used to get, almost every evening and on weekends, thinking of what to serve my large family.
I kept ignoring your link on LIB until Monday this week. when I thought Linda had a slow news day and just decided to click on you and look for something new to read. I am thankful to God that I clicked.
I have a little problem though. which I am sure that other parents and adults on your blog can help me out.
I teach my kids sex Education
telling them that no one has the right to touch their armpits, chest or bom bom. I do not know how else to teach it that will not mean crossing the line. Everywhere, people and schools insist on teaching these kids Sex Education without actually suggesting keywords to use for specific age grades.
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| Sex Education Book for our daughters. |
I feel like there are some communication barriers when I try to teach Sex Education
I taught my son that he should never accept or give a kiss to any girl, that he should discontinue friendship with anyone that encourages him to keep female friends. I want to teach him more, but don’t know how…
For my 8 year old daughter, I told her that very soon she is going to start having her periods, and that means that, any man that touches her can get her pregnant. I want my kids to be really aware of it all. I want them to flow with this fast paced generation, but how? how do I pass the clear message to them without saying too much or too little.
I really need help. and I hope my writing is clear enough, for other women to understand my problem and help me out.
Shop this great book on Amazon, it will really help. I have one … Preparing your daughter for every woman’s battle
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Times av changed sha, could recall how my mum discusses with ma sisters then,without allowing us to listen to what they're saying.
Then ma dad on d other hand will tell me and my brothers "any girl u impregnates,u must marry her,I'll force u to marry her,and u both won't live in ma house" looolz dat really scared me and my brothers.
Atleast now there are more better and advanced ways to educate children on dis issue.
~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310
Bonario U r everywhere??? Issokay!!
I think its most impt not to lose ur childs trust in d process of sex education. U dnt want ur child to get to school n from his or her peers realise U were lying.
Also find out wat ur child already knws thats y its gud to b a friend to ir kids, it mks communication easier.
Kids nowadays knw more than w thnk they do.
LOL I like ur dad!
I wud advise u nt to tell ur female child dat 'if any man touches her, she will be pregnant rather explain in as much details to her. Let her knw d only time she can sleep wit a guy is when she is married.
I think u should be as open and straightforward abt it as possible.like telling her d day a man touches u…..when she finds out d real thing is not touch' per say,she might want to try it!!
Let ur gals esp know what and how sex is,how d opposite sex think,why its gud to abstain at their age,and what safe sex is.cos I bet u dese internet generation' of kids know much more Dan u except them to!
I was tot sex education dat way and truly it worked cos its like putting all the choices before u to decide!!
What and how sex is? For an 8yr old??? going into the gory details of how a man puts his penis in a womans vag and how it is performed? No way.I don't think so. That is too much info in the name of truth telling. Such truth is too much for their age. Moreso if u have the kind of my kids u can be sure that will be the topic of discussion with classmates tomorrow. I wouldnt teach my children "safe sex" at under 10 either, though they may be taught in school ( I nearly had a fit the other time when I saw abstinence, faithfulness, and condon in my 9yr old daughter's pry 4 note! I stormed off to the school to wack the HM as to why someone shd be teaching my child condom… she promptly brought out the Lagos state curriculum for that class and showed me that it was an order from d govt. I disagree with that level of exposure for a child under 10yrs. It will only arouse their interest and robs them of their innocence which is their right. Such things can be introduced at secondary school level, maybe js2 or so.
What I did was as soon as my kids were 2-3 yrs, both my son and daughters, I told them the parts of their body that are private, and that Nobody is allowed to touch or play withthem. They sing it like song now and I was satisfied that they understood. I let them ask me any question too and I try to answer without being too graphic, at their different levels. As in I give d answer in a different way to the 12yr old from the 6 yr old. Thank God I started early, because my 12yr old ended up developing breast at 7and half and started period at 9and half! As soon I noticed the breast, I decided to brace myself and face the topic I had been dreading. I told her all about eggs, menstruation pregnancy, how babies are born etc. When I was done she started crying. When I asked her why she said so who is going to tell her best friend all these things since I told her not to go discussing it with everybody. I tinker I prefer my method rather than telling d details of the sexual act to a child under 10yrs. At least they come to me for any questions they have and I tell them the truth that is proportional to their age. Tho my mother never told me, I explained to my child the kind of 'touch' that can get her pregnant and I have my peace. This way works for me.. sorry for the long post Eya..
So getting tips here.
thanks for sharing.
Sex education requires that children be told the names of their private parts and that it remains private to them. They shld know that they shld not be indulged in petting and followed with unnecessary gifts.They shld know that they must not be compelled to look at or touch another person's private parts, just as theirs must not be looked at and touched. They must be told the implications–that when they are not adults and married like mom and dad, engaging in any sexual act would destroy their future;they must learn to say a convincing 'No' and run away immediately from predators, that cld be very well known too! They must confide in their parents enough to 'tell' whatever happens to them. I ve worked with a number of parents with this over time.
The way I teach my children depends on the question raised. They ask questions a lot. Like my girl asked when she was three:
Girl: Mummy where did I pass to enter your stomach before you went to the hospital to give birth to me?
My Answer: Daddy put you in my stomach. (After this answer, my head was blank, like thinking of what answer to give in case she goes further to say how did Daddy put me in your stomach? God being so kind to me, the girl just laughed and said "Oh, so, this big Daddy put me in your stomach?" then we all laughed and she ran off.
For my 9 year old, when she was 7, she was taught sex education in school, she came back with questions for me…
Meg: Mummy, how do Fathers get Mummy's pregnant?
My Answer: They get mums pregnant through sex.
Meg: So mummy, are you saying that you and Daddy do have sex?
My answer: yes we do, if not you won't be in existence. *she giggles and then continues*
Meg: But you taught us that sex is bad and you and Daddy are now breaking the rules.
My Answer: yes I taught you that sex is bad when you are not married. You can get pregnant without a husband. You can contact diseases, the man may even deny his responsibilities because he is not married to you. Sex is good with your husband. That is how life is formed.
Meg: Oh I see. Then she continues doing her home work.
For me, there is nothing my kids do not know. From when they were as young as even two, three, they all watched *BIRTH STORIES* and saw women giving birth to babies. They have seen babies coming out of their mothers, so there is just nothing I feel uncomfortable talking about.
Again, because I give them sex Education books to read, they already know much before asking any questions, so, I don't have to really say much before they grasp my point.
I think this is so much to help if they know these. We just hve to try hard to have pour eyes on them and do counter checks through engaging discussions too. God help us all!
This is so helpful, Eya. Maybe you can list the name of the sex ed books you use?
Yes Myne, I will try and get the names of those books again. I just went to check now and they are not even on their shelves anymore.
Yeah, Aunty Eya, d names of d sex educationn book u used! I neeed to start teaching my 5yr old son n 3 yrs old daughter! Tanks!
The chikoo
Bonario anytime I see u online I just hav dis Big smile on my face! I lik ur spirit n u re so so funny!
The chikoo
Eya, I love the way you handled the issue of sex-education with your children. Not a lot of people, even in our times, have the guts to call a spade a spade.
The truth is, whenever you're evasive with children, they sense it and simply look elsewhere, for answers.
I admire the relationship you have with your daughters… since they can talk to you about sex, they, most likely, can talk to you about anything.
Nice one Eya, i pray when i get married and start making kids that i will be able to be this straight forward with them.
Bunny.
Am ashamed to say dat as a Dr, I still dread the issue of sex education to my children. I have a 10yr old son and an 8yr old gal who are already asking questions. Pls telling me the names books the books u used will be appreciated . Tnx.
I have put the picture of the sex Education book I have on the post. It is divided into two parts:
1. for parents, with sections that guide you on how to teach topics like… Sexual vocabulary, Genital Differenssces, Menstruation, conception and Birth, Sex Play with Peers, Masturbation, Sexual Abuse, Homosexuality,Pornography and public Nudity, etc, etc,
2. Part two for parents and daughters with Guided conversations and topics like;
Your beautiful Biological Clock
Female Body Basics
What should I expect during puberty
What's the big deal about Teens having babies, and much much more.
Interesting, been struggling with my 8 yrs old. Now i have confident on how to go about it. Thanx Eya
Anty Eya
I really do appreciate all ur efforts to treat a topic like this and i must confess that it was really interesting. I came from a family whereby no body is ever ready to discuss about sex cos they feel that mere mentioning the name "SEX" among teenagers u've sin already cos that name alone can pollute their mind. I've been searching for so long now to learn more about sex so that i will not make a mistake in life and i'm glad that have this privilege to come across this today.
Thanks.
Thanks for this reminder Eya, I liked Debby & baro's comment best. It covers the field of the purpose of sex education, which I believe is your child's protection from predators. Thanks Debbie.
I tink the rait time is in deir pre-teens. I will forever be grateful to God for giving me d kinda man He gave me for a da. My dad gave talked to me abt sex and relationship wen i was still watching cinderella(LOL) he told me dat very soon guys will start coming to say som sweet nonsense and he gave me a complete lecture on how to respond to dese advances. so as a girl, wen a guy says hello and start d sweet toks, i jst open d diary in my head and giv dem d answer as daddy tot me. Where i grew up, teenage pregnancy was rampant den bt not me! i was too enlightened to fall a victim. I want to also appeal to our daddies to please help out in this area, left to my mum, she can't stand teaching me and ma kid sis anytin abt sex or relationship bt my dad did everytin. I am married and my marriage is blessed, still mumsy can't tok to me about sex and relationship. Once i told her that if not for the kinda man God blessed her with, she would av bin d youngest grandma(LOL Jst kidding)to her, once a woman's starts menstruating and a man touches her, dts authomatic pregnancy(bluetooth tinz.*laugh*)I feel free talking about sex and relationships to any1 dt comes my way because i have bin talking about it for over 20 years.